Something She Will Never Know
by Kirie Mitsuru
Summary: She was always there, but because she was always there, he didn't realize when she wasn't there until it was too late. A story of a girl who lose hope and a boy who lost the chance to have everything he could ever wish for. Tsuna x OC with a hint of Hibari x OC and Byakuran x OC. Warning: mention of torture and blood. Angst. P.S. Planning to wrote other's point of view but idk yet


Something She Will Never Know

Disclaimer: I don't own KHR, just the OC and this story (not counting the arcs and everything).

Warning: mention of slight torture and angst. I think I fail in trying to write angst though. No matter. Hope you enjoy it!

* * *

Sawada Tsunayoshi was never alone. From the moment he was born, he was fated to get tangled into the mafia world, sitting on top of everything. Being the boss of the best mafia family was his sole duty in the future. Of course, he never knew this until a baby appear on his house door, claiming to be his home tutor. His one and only company was a girl his age who came to his life out of blue.

"Hello there Tsunayoshi-kun. I want you to meet my daughter," an old man that seemed to be friends with his father smiled gently as he pushed a little figure from behind him. The girl was silent with long obsidian hair and a pair of amethyst eyes that stare into his without any hint of emotion. The girl wore something like what he saw in a spy movie and it fits her since her body was somewhat leaner and taller than the others around her age.

He watched the girl stood rigidly as if contemplanting on what she was supposed to do, her eyes staring at his with a little spark of curiosity that Tsuna could barely made out. Then, the girl looked up toward the old man, getting a smile and a nod before turning back toward him.

"My name is Asahina Miyuki. It's my pleasure to meet you," she then bowed despite the fact that Tsuna barely understand what the girl was saying beside her introducing her name, but he didn't care anyway. For a boy that was always mocked and bullied, having a presence of another kid that did not bad mouth him was good enough.

"Hi! My name is Sawada Tsunayoshi! Do you want to play with me?" Tsuna beamed a big bright smile that seemed to caught the girl off guard. It was really tiny, barely even showed but for a second, Tsuna saw Miyuki's lips curved upward, very slightly. That was the first time she actually smile and the next one came a long time later, but Tsuna did not know that. If he knew, he would've cherished it into his memory.

* * *

Tsuna was grateful that he could no longer taste the solitude of being alone anymore after his meeting with this strange girl at his age who looked too mature. They were never apart, at home or at school. Slowly, he noticed that Miyuki started to smile, then talk more. Somehow, that made him happy.

"Tsuna, are you dozing off?" Miyuki's deep mature voice snapped him out of his trance. Her gentle amethyst eyes met his brown ones and her soft smile greeted him. He often stare at her beauty too long, her pale lively skin and long black hair was enchanting, he was not the only one thinking that. More than once, he wondered why would a girl like her stayed at his side, at his home to begin with, but the said girl would just smile and said 'You'll know soon enough.'

"I guess so... Waking up every morning is really a hard job..." he sighed tiredly, snifling a yawn. That seemed to make her giggle, attracting some attention from the passerby as usual, although Miyuki always seemed to ignore them blatantly.

"You're a middle schooler you know. How would you expect Kyoko to like you if you won't work hard to get her attention?" she teased, leaving him flustered. Miyuki was not only his friend, but best friends. She was the only one who would stick around him despite his flaws.

"M-Miyuki! Don't say that out loud! What if-"

"Good Morning, Kyoko-san, Hana-san," Miyuki called the coming brown haired girl and black haired girl with amusement dancing in her voice, watching Tsuna shuttered in his attempt to greet his long time crush. He pouted when Kyoko waved at them and walked away, entering the school.

"Why is it so hard to just form a simple 'good morning' as a greeting?" Tsuna pondered depressed. Miyuki just shook her head, pulling Tsuna inside when the school bell chimed, alerting the whole school.

"Herbivore, you're late again," that familiar figure appeared from the side of the school gate, smirking at the frightened look on Tsuna's face. Another routine of his was being caught by the infamous disciplinary committee president, Hibari Kyoya.

"Tsuna, just run to the class first, okay? I need to speak with Kyoya for a while," was Miyuki's words everyday to him before pushing him away with her small soothing smile. It made him worry that the two sparred every single school day but it saved many other students from getting beaten up. He never knew how, but he knew well that Miyuki was strong.

"I never understand why you'd hang around that herbivore every single day," was the last thing Tsuna heard before he ran to him class. This was his everyday life. Miyuki was all he could hope for, a friend, best friend, guard, tutor, and supporter.

But then, everything changed...

* * *

"Sawada Tsunayoshi, I will be your home tutor from now on. My name is Reborn."

That was the words of a five years old baby with big black fedora, baby sized suit, and a chameleon that stood in front of his door when he was ready to bolt to school. He blinked a few times before telling Miyuki to bring the baby to the police before he ran. He knew that Miyuki could arrive at school sooner than him even when he got a head start.

"Oh, Reborn-san. It has been a while since we met. Is the time for his training has come?" she questioned the baby that hopped to her shoulder casually. He was, after all, her old tutor during her one year stay with the Ninth, not that she told Tsuna this.

"Yes, apparently, he is such a wimp from the looks of it," Reborn shrugged with a hint of amusement from his smirk. Miyuki just smiled back before letting the baby catch up to Tsuna while she went to their school using a different route that was better left unsaid.

"Sasagawa Kyoko! Go out with me!" Tsuna roared with nothing but his boxer and small flame on his forehead the moment he met the three girls, Kyoko, Hana and Miyuki who happened to meet the other two on her way. The next second, Tsuna's eyes widen as he returned to normal, blushing feverishly at the attention he was getting. At that time, never paid any attention to it, but after years, he remembered how Miyuki's usual polite smile contorted in... was it discomfort? Just for a second though before it turned into amusement.

Tsuna seriously though he was going to burst out crying when the love of his live rejected him in front of the school and straight forwardly. Through all that, Miyuki stayed at his side without uttering a single word, offering a small comforting smile. Somehow, Tsuna noticed a small glint of relieve in her amethyst eyes.

"Now, everyone, we're going to have a new student joining us," the teacher announced before the said person entered. With unusual appearance, Tsuna wondered where did the student came from. Miyuki, on the other hand, recognized the boy instantly. She'd never thought that people from the mafia would come so quickly.

"Tch, the name's Gokudera Hayato," the silver haired boy introduced with obvious annoyance across his face. Tsuna noted, he has the rare emerald eyes with fierce flicker inside. He gulped when the said pair of green orb fell on him.

"You, meet me at the back of the school at lunch time," he stated boldly, ignoring the swooning girls who squealed from the moment he entered the class. The boy's eyes widened again when he spotted Miyuki. _'What's going on?'_ Tsuna wondered before the silver head pointed his finger at Miyuki.

"Y-You! You're the famous Night Fox who massacred the Rolex famiglia nine years ago! They said you disappeared!" the boy, Gokudera shouted with total adoration in his tone. Though the class could hardly understand what the boy was saying, they knew immediately that the two would get along. Tsuna felt worried for the girl but his thought disappear when he felt jealousy inside him when he saw Kyoko staring at the new boy with a smile.

"Vongola future tenth boss! I hereby challenge you to a duel. I will acknowledge you if you could beat me. Though you look weak, having the Night Fox as your guard meant that you are the real successor," Gokudera challenged later on after school, pulling out his bombs, litting it in a blink of an eye. Tsuna squeaked, _'V-Vongola? Boss? Successor? W-what is he saying?' _he thought confused.

"He is saying what I was going to explain to you this morning," Reborn appeared on Miyuki's shoulder, once again shocking Gokudera, "Oh well, this might as well be your first training," the moment he said that, a ball flew and landed painfully on Gokudera's head, making him lose his grip on the bombs, _lit_ bombs.

"I'll stop the bombs with my dying will!" Tsuna roared, ripping his school uniform the second time that day. Quickly, he used his fingers to turn off the fire before the bombs blew up. After releasing a relieved sigh, Tsuna yelped as the pain started to attack his senses.

"Ah, sorry there! One of my ball flew too far!" a lean figure apologized. It was Yamamoto Takeshi, the star player of Namimori baseball club and the school male idol. He appeared with a big apologetic smile, wearing his baseball uniform, he scratched his head awkwardly at the glare he got from Gokudera. Out of blue, his eyes turned serious and he caught the coming ball with the speed of light.

"You passed, you two are now officially a member of Tsuna's family along with Miyuki," Reborn decided without second thought. Miyuki sweat dropped as Yamamoto quickly assumed that they were just playing a mafia game and Gokudera hit his head while cursing. The three boys weren't aware of the coming person who was emitting a dark aura.

"Is that explosion you're holding herbivore? That's against the school rules and thus I'll bite you to death," Hibari announced with a satisfied smirk. Wasting no time, Miyuki started to explain their situation, lying that the bombs were fake and all. Thus, they escaped the painful punishment that Hibari had in mind.

* * *

Not long after that, he started to meet more people, from the most annoying baby ever, Lambo, to the craziest cook, Bianchi. As his world expanded, Tsuna admit that his bond with Miyuki loosened up. Her personality didn't help either.

Usually, he would pour out his feeling everyday to the said girl who merely offered her smile and listened to him while she pretended to read a book. Now, he was busy training and keeping other in check. Usually, Hibari would be the one approaching Miyuki for a fight. Now, Miyuki would seek the company of the prefect instead. Usually, Tsuna would stick to her like how she would stick to him. But now, their solitude time was wrecked by others' appearance.

Miyuki still smile whenever she saw him, whenever they hang out together with the others included. So, never once did Tsuna thought on how she felt when he spent more time with Kyoko than her. He and Kyoko got closer since the time they met Miura Haru, leaving Miyuki out supporting him from a far. He never noticed the faraway look she showed whenever he went out with Kyoko.

"Hey, I heard that Miyuki-sama is going out with Hibari-san! Some students saw them sitting beside each other on the rooftop and Hibari-san smiled!"

"Really? I admit that Hibari-san actually look good with Miyuki-sama. If only he is not violent then I'd go after him."

"I can't believe that! I saw Miyuki-sama with Yamamoto the other day, sharing an ice cream afterschool!"

"No way! I thought she is with Gokudera! He never glare or shout at her! Miyuki-sama was having lunch with him inside a cafe yesterday!"

These rumors are starting to annoy Tsuna. He had no idea why but the nonchalant attitude that Miyuki showed to the rumor was getting to him as well. After a week, he finally confronted her about it. Her reaction? Just a smile and a short 'Don't think about it' as an answer.

"Gokudera! Duck!" Miyuki's voice ordered from quite a distance. Lately, there were attacks around Namimori and even the feared Disciplinary committee members were attacked. Not long ago, Tsuna just got a feeling that Gokudera would be the next target and the shout made his heart skip a beat as fear started to crawl all over him but he didn't stop.

"Gokudera-kun! Miyuki!" Tsuna shrieked as he watched Gokudera on his knees, few scratches here and there, and Miyuki with her hands turning into sharp blades. That he never knew.

"Gokudera, look after Tsuna!" Miyuki shouted when she saw Tsuna in her sight. It seemed that the enemy that seemed to be holding a pair of yoyos noticed him as well. Tsuna closed his eyes as he expected the coming pain, but it never came. The moment he opened his eyes, he regret it as the sight of blood greeted him.

"Gokudera, hurry and get Tsuna out from here. I'll stall him," Miyuki smirked despite the blood dripping through the hole in her stomach and her mouth. As Gokudera helped him stand, Miyuki cut the strong string attached through her stomach with ease before she advanced, rendering the powerful yoyo hitman into a mere useless person who could barely stand.

Gokudera tried to pull Tsuna away from the sight but he refused. Miyuki was his only friend for years and he will never leave her like that. She turned toward him, a smile on her face, her arms turning back to normal and her wound closing up, recovering itself without any help of medicine.

"Are you alright Tsuna?" she asked him despite the fact that she was the wounded one. Perhaps it was to keep him sane that she smiled even though his brown eyes were filled with terror, fear. Or maybe she denied the posibility of him feeling scared of her.

"M-Miyuki... Y-You're bleeding! A-and that man!" he heard his own voice trembling in shock. Slowly, Miyuki guided his hand toward her now smooth stomach, proving him that she had healed herself.

"I'm fine Tsuna. I'll always be fine and stay with you. Don't ever worry about me," but he won't ever forget that feeling he felt. Dread, he was petrified. He thought that he would really lose her. She'd slip away and disappear from his life forever. He disliked the feeling. The image of her corpse on his lap, eyes lifeless and her warmth seeping away, he nearly cried with mere imagination.

He decided then, he will fight to protect everything he cared for.

"I was a subject of an experiment, main subject. My whole body ended up being a weapon," Miyuki explained, stretching her arm forward and letting her hand turned to a scythe, her right arm held it, leaving where her left hand was empty. _'That's why... she was always so mature and distant...'_ Tsuna thought as he supressed his tears. All these time, he never suspected that she, out of all person, would experienced such thing in her short live.

"The ninth has informed me that three dangerous Mafia haters had escaped from it's prison and I think the boy that attacked Gokudera was one of them," Miyuki said with a frown. She never fail or wrong after all, the next day, they were marching toward the escapee's hideout. Facing the fake enemy leader, before then, they met the real one.

Miyuki and Gokudera volunteered to stay back and delay the other two enemy, letting Bianchi, Reborn, and Tsuna to advance first. It wasn't long before they catch up with them, along with the newly found Hibari. In mere seconds, the enemy leader, Rokudo Mukuro, faked his death, possessing everyone in mere seconds. Including the one person Tsuna depended the most, "Miyuki..."

"Mu... kuro... I'll never... let you to... use me... to attack him... never..." she panted before letting out a groan of pain. Falling to the floor, she smiled up to Tsuna who scrambled toward her. Her eyes were flickering, turning red then purple, then red, before it permanently turn purple.

"I love you," she muttered before falling toward the abyss of dream.

"Rokudo Mukuro," Tsuna started before bolting toward his enemy using his newly acquired power. Everything seemed blurry, he could hardly comprehend why the pineapple head was attacking him and his friends, even to the point of using them.

Gokudera was unconcious beside Bianchi. Hibari, who managed to land a hit on the mismatched eyed boy, was on the floor, in the same condition as the others. What made his blood boil was Miyuki, his company for years, was controlled and ended up just like Fuuta. She hurt herself in order to avoid attacking him. All because of the boy, who was now beaten up by him.

"Tsuna..." that voice called, soothing his anger down. He looked down and finally noticed that Mukuro was unconscious. Disposing the person away, he quickly moved to the recently awake girl, concern drawn clearly on his face.

"T-Tsuna... M-Mukuro... is not a bad guy... He is... just like me... B-but ended up hating the mafia..." the kind and gentle Miyuki, always ended up on the side of the enemy. At times, it hurt him to think how patience she was to others. When normal people mock him, she'd never fail to stand up to him, but she never care when others were bad-mouthing or hurt her.

Then the Vindice came along before the Vongola paramedics. Those guys were gone and their lives returned back to normal. He forgot. The meaning of all his feeling and the girl's confession toward the purple eyed girl ended up dismissed the moment he began thinking about Kyoko again. Miyuki just smiled and acted just like usual because she refused to rip his happiness.

That was one of many things that Tsuna regret all his life later on.

* * *

"VOI! You are the girl Xanxus talked about!" Tsuna felt much more than petrified. Their normal lives were ruined again in mere days. At times, he still questioned himself about his feeling, but time just refused to give more opportunity for him to think about it even deeper by the appearance of a loud unknown silver haired swordsman that was currently staring at Miyuki intently.

"M-Miyuki! Y-you know him?" Tsune heard his own voice trembled as he remain hidden behind a big table while she remain to distract the swordsman. By then, Yamamoto and Gokudera was long knocked out which left Miyuki as the only one standing to fought against the man.

"Oh my, it has been years since I last heard about brother," brother? That was the first time he ever heard anything about Miyuki having a brother, or even sibling at all. "However, my concern is why are you here in the first place. Care to enlightened me?" Miyuki questioned with an innocent tone but Tsuna knew better, her whole body was a tad bit tense, a sign of nervous.

"Ah! I nearly forgot! The rings! Where is the boy?" the man paused with a smirk as he readied his sword, "Tell me or your body might got eradicated," Miyuki did not utter a single word as she stood with a soft small smile. Tsuna knew that she refuse to oblige the man's demand, unfortunately, the man seemed to know that as well since he leap before trying to cut Miyuki's arm off.

Their fight was like a dance, elegant, smooth, and flawless. For a second, Tsuna thought he was caught in a daze of beauty before Miyuki's spear was thrown away near him with a loud ominous 'clang'. Like seeing a slow mode, Tsuna could not utter a word as the sword came down to Miyuki. His eyes widened before everything continued and finished in a blink of an eye.

"Stop this nonsense," Miyuki stepped up after Tsuna was thrown to a wall few times, not in complete condition. Her left leg basically turned red, her left arm still in its spear form a few feet away from her, her body was bruised all over from the amount of impact she got before and yet, she still maintained her poker face. The box that the fallen boy, Basil, showed him was in her right hand.

Then, the man left right after Dino-san appeared to the scene. With aching body, Tsuna turned to where his kateikyoshi stood. How he cursed his words afterwards was not what he thought he would do in the future.

"How is Kyoko-chan?"

Ever since then, Miyuki started to cease from his side.

* * *

A short lived peace was what Tsuna dreamed of and what he get after the whole successor battle. As if nothing changed, he continued on with his old routine. Tsuna was insensitive from the very beginning, it was simply in his nature to be such a dense boy, but at least he noticed how Miyuki's presence seemed to decrease more and more as the days gone by.

"Oh Miyuki, it's been a while since I bump into you at school," Tsuna beamed, attempting to cover his worry and failed. Nevertheless, the girl just went with the flow, remaining along side of Tsuna until Kyoko interuppted them.

"Tsuna-kun! Yuki-chan! There you are!" the school idol smiled charmingly, making his face heated up considerably. Perhaps it was out of habit but he focused his attention fully on the newly arrived girl with a smile. He failed to notice how Miyuki withdraws slowly before creeping away from their side in mere seconds.

"Tsuna-kun! I wanted to bring Lambo to you. He was looking for you," Kyoko informed, lifting the small baby in cow suit up to his face level. With a loud laugh, Lambo jumped away from Kyoko after throwing some bombs, running blindly through the crowd of students.

It was a pure waste of time looking for the baby. Tsuna looked all over the school, even skipping the last lesson of the day in process, eyes frantically looking around, his breath came in pants and he started to slowed down as his body ache in protest at the sudden force through the body. After searching thoroughly all over the school, he just had to find the baby at the last place he checked, the roof top.

To Tsuna's horror, he identifed the person 'playing' with Lambo as Hibari, if you call hanging the baby upside down playing. Thankfully, he did not spot any bruise from the baby, Lambo looked happy with his gleeful laugh even. Cautiously, he step into the two's sight, catching their attention.

"I-I'm sorry for making you babysitting Lambo, Hibari-san! I'll take him and leave you alone now! Thank you for taking care of him!" Tsuna shuttered sweating all over from exhaustion and fear, fidgetting when Hibari's sharp dark purple eyes met his terrified honey eyes. With a loud elated shout, Lambo broke free from Hibari's grip and jumped into Tsuna's embrace.

"Oh, one more thing," Hibari's smooth deep voice halted him when his hand reach for the door knob. Slowly, Tsuna turned back to where his sempai was, still feeling unconfortable to be in the same place as the school prefect. Hibari's long elegant fair pointer finger pointed toward a very familiar device, the ten years bazooka.

"A-Ah! I'll take it away immediately," Tsuna scrambled toward the bazooka, silently wondering whether anyone fell as it victim or nor when he was gone. As if reading his mind, Hibari continued, "It hit Miyuki, she is gone for more than half an hour already," then he yawned, dismissing Tsuna's presence away instantly.

"_It hit Miyuki, she is gone for more than half an hour already,"_ Hibari's words rang inside Tsuna's head like a curse. _'Was it another malfunction?'_ he thought, trying hard to just convince himself and failed painfully.

Then, not even an hour later, Reborn's disappearance followed suit before his own trip to the future occured. It was dark, it was cramped, it was a coffin. Shocking was not even close to what he felt when he discovered that he was inside a coffin and he was dead but he could only grin and bear as the older Gokudera gave him a few information before he switched place as well.

"Tsuna?" Miyuki's comforting voice called him not long after he step into his –supposedly- hidden base. The presence of Reborn and the others were nearly nothing compared to Miyuki. She was half leaning to the majestic wooden door, her body seemed leaner and she wore a uniform he never seen but when he saw her soothing smile and understanding eyes, he leaped, hugging her like the world was going to end and bawled like a five years old baby, not that he cared. Her voice filled the room as it calmed him down. It was always like this. He cried then she'll hug him and sing for him. He always wonder why she never become a singer.

"Are you feeling better now?" Tsuna nodded slightly, enjoying the warmth he felt from the girl. He noted that he was no longer inside the room where he met Reborn, he was inside an elegant room surrounded with purle coloured walls. There was no sound except for his soft sobs and he noted the smell of a usually old unused room but he did not questioned it as he took in his surrounding. It was very Miyuki styled, simple, plain but comforting.

"You are not dead Tsuna," she informed him, a total opposite of what he heard from the others. A glint of disbelieve and hope were showed from his eyes, "The future you trusted me with a valuable information that only a few selected people knows inside a letter he wrote for me. Trust me, I assure you that you are pretty much alive in the future," Miyuki smiled slightly, her eyes met his and he knew he coud trust her words.

He was relieved. Too relieved to see the small 'but' her voice implied and the small sign of sadness in her smile. She left out the information about herself and stay focused on him, yet he never knew that. He just enjoyed the comfort her embrace gave him, remaining oblivious on what to come.

Before he knew it, he was storming to the enemy's base in japan with his friends. Saying that it went smoothly was a lie. In the end, everyone was held captured by the enemy commander, Irie Shouichi, inside a big tube that could shot out poisonous gas. His worry did not last long as Irie finally showed that he was an ally, not their enemy. Then the real enemy leader, Byakuran appear, not literally though before he transported the whole Milliviore Japan headquarter.

As he rejoice in his reunion with his friends, Tsuna failed to notice how Miyuki was absent from the crowd. He celebrated their victory once they reached their headquarter, beaming in happiness as he was greeted by the sight of his long time crush, still oblivious to the absent of his childhood friend's presence while Reborn frown in worry.

"Hm? Sawada Tsunayoshi, where is Miyuki?" when the feared Hibari arrived at the middle of headquarter, asking about the missing girl, Tsuna realized then that he had not seen her since they parted way. However, he decided to look for her later once he was called by Kyoko despite the deep glare he got from Hibari before he left the party after being there for just a minute.

The 'later' never come as he was busied with completing the Arcobaleno trials and his animal box. The days passed until the day of his battle against Byakuran came and he found his Miyuki, not even in person.

"How dare you-!" was what Hibari growled as they were shown a screen which showed a nightmare, literally. Tsuna couldn't even utter a word at what he saw. He hated blood, scene that have blood and torture, or anything violent, but what he saw was Miyuki, her limbs scattered all over the place, blood was everywhere and she was barely conscious with hollow eyes.

"So, this is another part of the game," Byakuran's voice was heard with a tint of amusement and pure glee, "She is somewhere here, in one of these building. If you find her then one of our member will be disqualified, if you didn't find her," he paused, his smirk widening with malice, "She'll experience even more torture."

Tsuna's face paled considerably. From what he saw, Miyuki was hardly alive. Her blood was painting everything in red, her left arm was cut off and thrown away from her, as well as her right leg, her right wrist was chained to the wall and she leaned to the wall lifelessly. The only sign that she was more or less alive was her eyes.

"Don't... worry about me... Tsuna... just... escape... hurry..." Miyuki's voice echoed, barely above a whisper but he could read her lips' movement, "Bya...kuran... he... is going..." she winced again, he body twitched in pain as she leaned to her chained arm, "to kill you..." she finished, smiling briefly before the screen disappear.

The rage was blinding but Tsuna tried to focus. The more he focused, the more he felt the tight feeling at the back of his throat as if he was chocking, the tears filling his eyes as well. He felt like he was the lowest scum that ever existed for forgetting a friend, his _best friend_, just like that. While they were partying, celebrating their victory, the one person that has always been with him was going through hell and she was worried about _their_ safety when she should have plead them to save her.

Then they started the 'game'. To say the place was huge was an understatement, but it was making his whole search even harder, not to mention that he had to protect Shoichi as well to completely win the game. Despite their efforts, they did not only lost the game, they also didn't find Miyuki. Uni appeared and they escaped, leaving the unfortunate girl once again.

* * *

"Miyuki!" It has been a week since their escape, few days since the start of their quest in getting approval from the Vongola first and his guardians and Tsuna's nightmare was getting worse by day. As much as he knew that the time passed in the past and future was different, he couldn't help to tremble in fear for Miyuki. _'How is she? Is she alive? Is she being tortured?'_ were the questions that were never answered. He cried whenever the girl haunting his mind ended up dead in his nightmare, he cried when the torture the girl might experience were formed in his dreams, he cried when his dream showed how lonely the girl felt inside the bloody room alone as well.

"Miyuki," his own guilt filled voice echoed inside his silent room, the sound of rain was the only comfort he got. The world without Miyuki was painful. Even though the presence of the solitude girl were scarce lately, they were precious. Whenever he was scared, confused, lonely, and in pain, she would never leave him on his own, accompanied him without uttering a wingle word, but that was enough for Tsuna. However, he would have to face everything alone without her. The old feeling of loneliness that he felt before he met her resurfaced and he remembered how dull life was.

His painful sobs was muffled by his blanket, Reborn stayed silent through his students angst, for once, not knowing what to say to his apprentice. That was the day Tsuna realized just how precious his childhood friend really was. Somehow, imagining his live without Miyuki and Kyoko was different and he was confused. Why did he felt much more pained at the image of a world void of Miyuki's comforting presence?

Life, Tsuna decided then, was much more complicated than he thought.

* * *

The last battle has ended, yet he still have yet to found his childhood friend. Even when he tried to get something out from the cloud member of Bykuran's elite force, he still did not get anything fruitful about the whereabout of Miyuki and he was getting desperate. He was at lost on what to do, even disagreeing against the others when Shouichi suggested them to go back and leave the rest to the future them. It just seemed wrong and if he oblige, he felt like he will never see her ever again, submitting to a world without her existance, and he did not like it a single bit.

So he disagreed, despite the hard whack from Reborn, persuasion from his friends and even Kyoko's pleading look. Though he nearly gave up, the image of an empty world sent shiver down his spine, making him even more determine to not let it be a reality. _'Don't be stupid, I'm perfectly fine so you should follow the other's advice'_ is what she will said to him if she was there to begin with and Tsuna smiled at the irony. He was looking for a girl that would rather him going back to a normal life with or without her.

"There is a place that Byakuran-sama has been visiting for a few times though," that snapped him back to reality. Those words were the first sign of hope in finding Miyuki for weeks. Tsuna's stormy brown eyes turned toward Kikyo instantly, his eyes staring sharply as if daring the man to lie with countless of lie detector around his room.

"It was small base of Millifiore that he did not record down in the master computer so that Shouichi won't know about its existance. He banned anyone from entering the base but I know that it was located not far from Namimori," Kikyo paused as he put on a thoughtful look, "He said something like, 'the view of the coast if not bad' or 'the sunset is amusingly enchanting on the water and mountain' when I tried to bring up the subject about the base," Kikyo finished.

"Why are you telling us this now?" Tsuna questioned with suspicious and wonder. If he knew that much, why would he said that now? Was he probably planning something behind their back and camera security? Any motive that might press him to entrust this simple information to them then?

"It's you," Kikyo then chuckled, ending it with his trademark 'hoho', "The look of longing when you though about that girl is like Byakuran-sama's look when he came back from this base. Though he didn't look as pathetic as you are," another chuckle, "but you two are alike in more than one ways I guess," Kikyo smiled before looking out of the window. Tsuna knew it was the sign that he would not said anything anymore, so he stood and walked out.

"You two are dense. The two densest people I have the honour of meeting," Kikyo mumbled before Tsuna closed the door.

* * *

It was proved to be a truth. There was really a secret base inside a forest, facing the beach. It was like a small mansion, looking like a normal people's house from the outside, though it was impossible once he saw the same pink haired girls that judged them during the ring battles. However, Tsuna admit that it was beautifull, the scenery and the house. He felt relaxed, warm, and he knew he was on the right track.

Slowly, he advanced toward the majestic wooden door with beautiful crafting, knocking on the door as soft as he could. That was something, considering his excitement to be reunited with Miyuki and his supressed will on just breaking the door down and just rushed to where he felt his childhood friend was. Though that was still what he did when the door was not answered at all.

"_You're finally here Tsunayoshi-kun,"_ the lazy voice of his enemy, Byakuran, filled the whole room, sending shiver down Tsuna's spine. Shakily, Tsuna turned toward the source of the voice in cautious. Only to find a hologram of the white haired man, which he thought was a ghost for a second. The hologram sat on a sofa, smirking in amusement thoroughly.

"_Well, if you're here, that means I lose or d__ie__d,"_ Byakuran shrugged lazily, leaning back to the soft looking sofa, _"And I lose to the bet I made with Yuki-chan__.__"_ Her name grabbed all his attention as he waited for more information about Miyuki, anything at all.

"_I know you are probably frantically looking for her and, don't worry, she's right behind this door,"_ the hologram chuckled, pointing toward a door right at the end of the room. _"If I lose the bet, she ask me to let her meet you again even though I personally think you don't deserve her,"_ Byakuran sighed_, "I had hoped that she'll succumb and be mine but she's just stubborn, even after all these time." _

Safe to say, whatever the hologram said after mentioning Miyuki's where about barely entered his mind as he automatically rushed toward the door. After all these time, he could finally see her again, apologize to her, and pour his heart to her once again. Finally… finally… _finally!_

"_Surprise!" _Byakuran's laughter filled the whole room while Tsuna stoned on the spot as he saw the white room and _her _as white as the room itself, save for her hair. The soft beeping of the machine filled the empty, simple room as he was suddenly filled with dread as he approach her side.

"_It's simply amusing! She asked me to let her meet you until the end but she's the one who made it all impossible!"_ Byakuran laughed again, filled with amusement and a bit of hollowness, _"Who would have thought that she her heart was problematic and weak from the way she act? The machine now could only sustain the heart beat but her brain is dead!" _

No… _No! _Tsuna refused to believe it, every single word his former enemy spout were merely lies! He knew because it has to be! There is no way-! No way that-! _There is no way that Miyuki left him alone! No!_ Tsuna ignored the echoing laughter as he tried with all his might to touch her (cold) hand, shake her (limp) shoulder, kiss her (dry and pale) lips, and everything to make her (unresponsive) eyes to open once again, to make him drown in its depth and warmth again.

"_Here is some tip for your hard work, upon her request as well,"_ he didn't see the smirk on Byakuran's face, twisted with fake mirth and blinding rage. He looked up as the wall opened up, as if unraveling a secret. Then he saw her, the girl in his arm in front of him but he knew it was not her. Not when its eye is dead and empty (not like her warm caring ones) when it stared at him despite the photocopy rare smile of Miyuki on the _fake's _face.

"_She is her replica robot, made solely so that you won't feel lonely alone. Isn't she thoughtful? Until the end, she thinks of you and only you!"_ Byakuran's voice was laced with hidden envy which Tsuna didn't notice as Byakuran's words felt like a knife on his already disfigured heart. To forget her at the most crucial time was one thing, to know that the one you forgot think only about your happiness was another thing entirely.

"_Ah! Before I forgot! This is my last present from me!"_ the hologram stated before it disappeared as a monitor appeared. Tsuna hardly glance on it as his tears blurred his vision, his heart and mind worked together for once, wallowing in guilt and self-pity for the mistake he made over and over without correcting it.

"_Tsuna,"_ her voice shook him back to reality, he whip his head toward her immediately, wishing with all he have that Byakuran had been lying, that she is not dead. To his dismay, she remained rigid, and cold. Not a single muscle move from before. Then he noticed the monitor, she was smiling.

"I believe you will win so I know you'll see this," Tsuna couldn't help the tears flowing down his cheek at her words. Until the end, she trusted him and yet he was too late. _Too late._

"Please don't blame yourself for whatever happened to me. Everything is my fault, my carelessness, so don't punish yourself because of me." Tsuna smiled wryly at her words. It was so very her to say that, still he couldn't help but wish that she was screaming at him instead because he deserves that. He deserved to be blamed! Of course, she wouldn't do that. Miyuki never blamed others for what happen to her, no matter how serious it was. But if she didn't even blame him, who can he blame?

"I know I have little time to enjoy this false peace but it's enough. I'm tired. Since Byakuran refuse to do it, will you be the one that stop this idiotic machine to let me rest in peace?" he stoned at her words, not believing what he was hearing. She wants him to end her life? He won't, he _can't_. Maybe she can be saved, maybe she will open her eyes again, maybe she will be by his side again and he promises if god gives him another chance. Just one more chance, then he won't let her go again. _He'll definitely-!_

"_I'm dead, Tsuna."_

The resignation in her voice broke his hope into pieces as he continued to sob. She is dead. She is dead. She is dead. She is dead. _She is dead. _Her words echoed in his mind like a never ending nightmare. He closed his eyes as if trying to escape the reality but her cold hand that he held speak otherwise, reminding him of the harsh reality.

"This is selfish but I actually want you to be the one that end my life since you are the one who gives me a life," he tried to blink away his tears as he processed her words, "And I always want to tell you my feeling even though I know I don't deserve you." It felt as if his heart died slowly as he continued to listen to her soothing voice filled with remorse, her last words.

"_I'm sorry, but I love you Tsuna."_

Love, the one feeling that he thought he harbor for Kyoko, was the reason. That was the reason why he need Miyuki, long for her, and why the world feels more unbearable without her. His eyes were mesmerized by the expression she made, so happy and yet so sad, bittersweet. He only saw her made that face once before.

"_Hey, if you have more friends, what will you do?" they were young, mere elementary students, playing with one another as their only company. He cocked his head in confusion at such odd question that will never happen._

"_I don't know? We'll play together!" Tsuna answered brightly totally unaware of the girl's hesitant gaze._

"_Will you still remember me?" her question came out weak and doubtful, as if she was not sure whether she should even ask in the first place. Tsuna blink in confusion and fear, wondering with terror why is she asking him such question, does she want to leave him?_

"_No! We'll always be together!" Tsuna demanded despite how silly he looked like with teary eyes and trembling pout. He felt beyond relieved when he felt her soft hand patting his head softly while letting out a giggle. Then he saw it._

"_Don't worry. I promise I will never leave you if you are alone. Until you get more and more friends, I will always be here."_

Did she know then that it'll become like this? That they'll drift away until he even forgot about her completely? It hurts. It hurts to know that he let her down, he really walk away from her easily, he forgot about her even though she was his one and only anchor before all this madness begun. What have he done?

"I'm sorry. I'm _so sorry_. Please forgive me, _Miyuki_. I'm sorry for forgetting you, for leaving you. I'm sorry. _I'm so-,"_ his voice cracked as anguish filled his broken heart. He cried for losing his most important person, he sobbed for leaving her alone, he wailed because he was too late to change everything. Most of all, he despaired that he didn't even realize how much he loved her before she slipped away from his life.

"Please don't be too sad. You are not alone anymore. Just forget about me and move on. Don't feel guilty because you don't love me back. We are just… _not meant to be_. I know that from the very beginning so, please be happy with Kyoko-san," she was crying. She didn't know (she'll never know now) that he felt the same way. It was never Kyoko, but she didn't know. He didn't realize and had the chance to tell her until it was too late. So, so late.

"Miyuki-!"

_Don't leave me alone!_

"I love _you_-!"

_It has always been you!_

"I need _you_-!"

_You are irreplaceable!_

"_I-!"_

"_I love you_, but I guess… _this is goodbye_."

She'll never know now. How much he loved her and how sorry he was for everything he did to her. Hugging her cold limp body close to him, he listened to her comforting heartbeat for one last time. He idly wondered how he missed the chance to have everything he could ever wish for that easily. He wondered how happy he and Yuki would be if he realize his feeling sooner. Maybe he'll get the chance to see her smiling widely with pure happiness for once? Maybe, but it was just what ifs that will never come true.

"I'm really an idiot like you always say after all."

He pulled the machine off from her, disconnecting the only thing that kept her alive. As much as he wished to cling into the false hope of her living body, it was her last wish. He had denied her enough (her care, her longing gaze, her love) and he won't ever deny her one last wish even if it kills him to do so.

_Beep. Beep.. Beep... Beep…_

"_Goodbye, I love you too."_

* * *

Author's note:

Angst, yeah.

I don't know what made me wrote this but I guess it's because I find Tsuna's baseless attraction to Kyoko so impossible. Not that I hate her personally but I feel that she don't really deserve him (not when she reject her since the very beginning). So I thought that if there is another girl, then what will he do? Unfortunately, I just know that Tsuna will always prioritize Kyoko above anything else (as always) so I made him regret doing so.

It irks me to no end whenever Tsuna goes "How's Kyoko-chan?" over and over again even though she is obviously not scratched a single bit. This fanfic is made to vent my anger on that pair obviously. Please don't hate me for this!

I think I really annoy the reader of my other fanfic since I never update them. Haha. Sorry. I have no motivation to continue them at the moment (and if I force myself to post something, it'll be awful. Trust me.)

Still, I hope you like this.

Reviews will be nice.


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